Aight, so y'all don't think I'm doing this to embarrass anyone, I am going to start with my most recent blunder from hell.

I was sitting out back of a local popular bar, back ground is, I'm in a town where there are NO scooters, so EVERYONE is talking about the vespa.  So of course, I'm eating it all up, and getting drunker than hell at the same time.  So I'm leaving and as I back out of my parking spot, this really nice blonde girl comes strolling up to me and says "hey, what kind of scooter is that?"  Soooo, I put it in first gear out of habit, and was holding the clutch in and began to talk to her.  Little to my knowledge a previous drop in the garage had cracked my clutch lever, so at the best time possible, IT BROKE.  This popped the bike into gear sending me flying in a side slide, which as we all know makes for a full throttle pull, which in turn was met with solid pavement and a vertical wheelie from hell.  Now I'm staring at the moon wondering what the hell is going on and I notice the parked car I am approaching.  Not thinking this was fun anymore i thre my legs down, kicked the bike away from the car, and slid back first into the car.  I slid under the damn thing cutting my arms up fairly bad, and bruising the hell out of the whole right side of my body and EGO!  My p200e sat spinning in circles on the ground (spare tire side thankfully), but was still hurt badly.  I've had to replace my shifter tube, clutch lever and cable, front brake lever, and have lots of misc dings scrapes and other crap on the cowling and legshield.  I was most pissed off that I didn't get more than 45 feet out of the parking lot, but it may have saved my life too, as I was drunk as an Irishman in a Guinness Brewery.  Lesson: It can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere..and never will I ride drunk or attempt too again.

Papaskin

Some of the following were pulled from the Bollocks BBS...thanks to them, if you see something you want removed out of embarrasment, to bad <grin>
This is my buddy Jermy and his story for all New Riders..

I had just purchased my first bike, a '79 p200e, nice condition. Anyrate, after i transported her home, she woudln't start. So for bout two weeks i tried to figure out what the problem was. Finally got it started (carb problems which seems to be my bane). Well, i wanted to make sure everything was working nice and dandy so i thought id take her out for a little test drive. So (stupidly) wearing sambas with no socks, a pair of soccer shorts, and a t-shirt (no helmet). i started her up and shifted into first. well, i wasn't prepared for sensitivity of the throttle and immediately popped her up onto one wheel and straight into a parked car. smashed the hell outta the front quarter panel of the car, lost a front fold down rack and bent the front fender. LUCKY for me i landed on grass and so i only had minor injuries (coudnt walk right for a few days, hurt my back some, cut my knee and face up) however.. since that time.. the bike hasnt moved (and only on rare occasion even been started) without a helmet being on my head.

THEN NEXT WEEK HE....

well, i guess to understand this one i have to explain the problem with the carb. its some goofy ass 30mm carb that really shouldnt be on the bike in the first place. it has an airleak that had been keeping it from starting. i thought i had fixed the air leak. but, well the carb is a fucking piece of shit that i should never have even attempted to ride the bike with.. and here is why.

i had just registered the bike and i was gettin ready for her first test run out on real roads. well, it was going along fine (i had ridden it a bunch inside my apt complex to try and figure out if i had gotten the air leak) and as i finished up my test laps around the complex, and was getting ready to turn out onto real road, the air leak hit like it never did before. the throttle opened WIDE. now, im still not *ALL* that comfortable with the balance and geometry of the bike, so take that into account as you laugh at what happens next. first thing i do is pull in the clutch, and nothing happens, engine keeps reving higher and higher. im panicing, but at this point im still in controll, i hit the kill switch, which of course doesnt do a damn thing since it had been bypassed. i reach for the ignition key, turn it off and the motor still doesnt die..
then the back wheel locks or some weird shit happen cuz all i hear is SCREECH and the bike is pitching over to one side HARD. at this point im scared shitless cuz im doing about 35, so i bailed. thankfully i had just bought a new 3/4 helmet and wasnt using the half helmet i had been using, because my face got fucked up enough as it is and the helmet isnt in that great of shape either. my hands got cut up and my knees as well.. but not that horrible overall. (this time i landed on pure concrete). well, i did get to see the spectacular site of my bike slide about 30 feet, hit a curb, go airborn and then roll a few times.
Greatest part is after i picked her up from that crap, she started first kick.
Damage to the bike is fixable.. foot well is bent in from where the crashbar broke and was pushed up into it from hitting the curb. and the paint job on the engine side cowl is all messed up.. but overall.. the damage isnt as bad as i first thought when i saw it go airborne.

Lesson: 1) DO NOT DRIVE A BIKE THAT HAS SOME GOOFY ASS CARB UNLESS YOU'VE PERSONALLY MADE SURE IT IS 100 PERCENT PERFECT

Lesson 2) IF YOU ARE A NEWBIE, DON'T BE RIDING THE BIKE AT ANYTHING CLOSE TO HIGH SPEEDS, YOU MAY LOOK LIKE A GIMP DRIVIN 15 MPH BUT ITS BETTER THAN LOOKIN LIKE A GIMP SKIDDING ALONG PAVEMENT AT 35.

super duper tuning hint: don't use goofy ass carbs...
 
- jermy


Coming home from a BBQ on Saturday night I was hit by a car while riding my Lambretta. I was doing at least 45mph when a car made a left into the lane I was travelling in. With no time to react I hit the car on the passenger side launching me over the car several yards and I came down on the curb on the opposite side of a two lane street. The driver never stopped. I was taken to the LA county/USC hospital where everyone else had either been stabbed or shot. Someone died next to me in the ER. It was unreal. I came away with two sprained ankles, two banged up knees (leaving my left leg immobile for awhile) whiplash, a banged up right shoulder, and one very fucked up scooter. I've been riding for 6 years and this was my first accident. I was fortunate to still be in the practice of wearing a full face helmet, gloves and a jacket. I suffered no head injuries or scrapes to my upper body. If I was wearing jeans instead of dress pants I'm sure I wouldn't have as many abrasions on my legs and If I had boots on maybe my ankles would be ok. I'm not one to preach but there are too many drivers out there that don't watch for bikes. Riding ability can't steer you clear of every asshole on the road. WEAR FULL GEAR! Don't wait to learn it the hard way. I'm also unfortunate to have dropped collision and uninsured motorist off my insurance policy and since the police haven't caught the asshole that hit me I suffered a major loss.

Scott Evans
Los Angeles, CA

I had the same accident last July (1998) and was only going 30 Mph. The person wanted to turn left so cut the same way as in your case. I banged on the car (only one bruise), and broke my leg when the scoot fell on my tibia and fibula. Multiple fracture (10 pieces) and I'm still wearing a cast until august 25th of this year. You were very very fortunate. I got 900$ for the scooter repairs but on hte down side, I'm still in a cast. Still riding though so life goes on. You'll be back in no time, if you feel like it. At the time I was wearing sort of a home made half helmet that flew off my head . I didn't hit my head (luckily) and got so scared I bought a full face and wear only that. I hope they catch the bastard who took off on you and make him pay and even a couple of days in jail for taking off.

Francois

This last week saw another bad one up here in SF. My girl was taken out by car Monday night sending her to the hospital with both legs broken and a ankle to match. After years of riding with thrift store helmets, thankfully she had the one and only good helmet we ever purchased, the paramedics swore it saved her life.  Fortunately for her the driver that hit her had insurance. It is so true that it can happen when you least expect it. I have been riding since '87 and aside from a few dumps here and there, never really went through this kind of experience. I have spent every free chance at the hospitol with her, she needs assistance with everything and for a women as independent as her, this is a nitemare. It will be six months before she can walk again. Defensive riding and insurance are a necesity, but like you said wear full gear! While I have been riding around with a old helmet I took outa a trash can, I can only look at her and what was once a 150 Super and realise just what a fool I have been. I WILL be purchasing a new helmet shortly. Since I live here, I might check out the show at Kings'99, but the days of me drinking and racing round the city like a idiot are over. It is stories like yours and hers that remind me that I have been very fucking lucky... Especially since people like yourself and my girl didn't deserve to suffer, I should have been killed a long time ago. My best to you and your recovery, when I read your post.. I had no choice but to respond.

Craig